Final Post

I can't believe how fast this quarter flew by and that this is my last post! This was the first blog I have ever written and in having this blog I think it forced me to really examine the materials and concepts we talked about in class, and apply them to my life. A lot of the time I think most of us go through the motions of going to class and once were out of the classroom, we don't really think about how the course material relates to our every day life. But after taking this class and writing this blog, I became more aware of how much the media controls and affects our lives. I've always known in the back of my head that the media created and perpetuated stereotypes of the roles men, women and children in our society are supposed to fit, but I never realized the extent to which these stereotypes effect us.

I'm sure that everyone has heard the saying, "what you don't know can't hurt you," and thats kind of how I feel about the fact that now I'm more aware of the media, society and their pressures on us. Before I took this class I would overlook ads and their underlying messages, or television shows and the degrading roles they put women in, but now I notice everything and to be honest it makes me angry. When my roommates complain about guys not liking them, or being too fat, I get so upset that the media and our society has forced them, other girls my age, and myself to feel that we all need the attention of a guy, or to weigh a certain amount to be happy and confident. Then again, maybe this realization of the negative messages the media sends is a good thing. My generation is the future, and if everyone feels as I do- that the media places unrealistic expectations on us- maybe we can help to stop it.

Overall I thought that this was one of the only classes I have taken at OU that really made me think about the society around me and how it effects me. In writing this blog and the papers I think I evolved as a writer. I use to hate writing papers. I would sit for hours with nothing but my name and the date in the top corner of an otherwise blank paper, trying to find the right words to capture my thoughts. But because we have had to write papers and blogs that are for the most part just our thoughts, I have stopped thinking about the right words and learned to just write.

Essay #3

For my final essay I want to still focus on the show The Millionaire Matchmaker, but create my own twist on it and discuss the impact the show would have if it was the women who were the active characters instead of the men. What differences would be seen in the show if it was the women who were the millionaire clientele and they were the ones choosing who they wanted to go on a date with?

The way the show is currently set up, the men are the active characters and the women are passive. The Millionaire's Club caters to wealthy, millionaire men who need help in the dating arena, in order to find their beautiful wives. Most of the time these guys are very handicapped in the area of social interactions but since they are powerful and have money, think they are entitled to have unrealistically high standards for who they should be dating. This perpetuates the notion that women are just sexual objects there for men's pleasure and that women are the submissive gender.

So, in my paper I want to discuss how gender roles would be portrayed differently if it were the women who were the ones in control. How would the show be different if it were powerful, millionaire women choosing young, handsome men. I think that this would really challenge the normalization of heteronormativity that is dominant in our society today. The way the show is now really conforms with the gender roles in our culture. It solidifies the idea of a dependent woman, whose only aspiration in life should be to marry wealthy and take care of her husband and children.

For my essay I will focus on a couple different episodes. I actually found that there have been two millionaire women in the club so I will look closely at those two episodes and show the contrasts between when the women and men are in the active role.

Millionaire Matchmaker

When I was thinking of what to write my paper on, Millionaire Matchmaker was the first show that popped into my head, because I think it is a perfect example of a show that perpetuates the negative stereotypes of women in our society. Millionaire Matchmaker is a reality T.V. show on Bravo that features Patti Stanger (the matchmaker) and her staff at the Millionaire's Club who cater to successful men who need help in the dating arena. These men select their prospective dates pretty much on the basis of looks. On the show the men are shown looking through dozens of photographs and through two way mirror at women, while Patti asks them "what their pecker wants." They are then able to pick a few women to go on "mini-dates" with (which is pretty much a five minute interview) before deciding on one woman they want to date.

To me there are a lot of things wrong with this set up. It objectifies women making them sexual objects. This is similar to the article we read in class by Mulvey where she discusses the objectification of women by the male gaze. Men control the action while women are simply there for the pleasure of these men.

Along with The Millionaire Matchmaker perpetuating the role of women as sexual objects, it also reinforces the false notion that women are incompetent and need to be taken care of by a wealthy man. The goal of the club is to match men and women together to form, old-fashioned, traditional relationships where the women stays at home raising children while the man is the breadwinner.

Another aspect of the show that portrays women in a negative light, is the screening the women must go through before they are admitted into the club. The only requirement for men in the club is for them to be millionaires, while women must fill requirements based on their outward appearances instead of their career successes. On the show, women are subjected to embarrassing critiques of their appearances and Patti tells them all the same thing; that they need to have long, straight hair, perky boobs, wear heels, show leg and lose weight in order for men to want them. sometimes she even tells women that they simply are not good enough for her millionaires. This show is an example of the gender roles our society has placed women in, based on inferiority and sexual objectification.

Miracle Diets

Since I have started taking this class, I have become more aware of the influences that the media and our society has on girls my age. I'm more aware of comments girls make and the habits of my roommates and to be honest, I'm sick of it. Way too often girls set unrealistic expectations of what they need to look like and end up never being happy with who they are and I admit I've been guilty of this at times. I live with 3 other girls, all of which are beautiful, smart girls who should be confident in who they are. But one of my roommates, 5'5" and 117lbs, is obsessed with her weight and she took it to a knew level this week when she told me she was going on a "vinegar diet." It's as gross as it sounds. She forces herself to drink vinegar mixed with honey, claiming it burns the belly fat..that she doesn't have. I guarantee guys don't sit around obsessing over how to burn belly fat, but because of pressure from our society, girls are made to feel like they have to look a certain way, and some girls, like my roommate, go to extremes to achieve it. I don't think its necessarily all the media's fault, the girls who go to extremes are the ones who lack self-confidence, but I think that lack of self-confidence stems from pressures placed on girls in our society. Its rough being a girl in our society, we are constantly being told how to act and look and I really admire those women who can be completely confident in who they are.

Glamour

After working on the magazine cover project I started to pay more attention to the hundreds of advertisements that are thrown at me every day, and nine times out of ten women are portrayed as sexual objects, in a decorative way that makes them less than human. We live in a society that is so influenced by the media and message that your body should be your most prized asset, so its no wonder most girls have such a skewed perception of what they should look like. I remember a couple months back Glamour put out an issue that featured plus sized models completely naked, no air-brushing and beautiful.

This may have been a baby step but I think it was a great thing for Glamour to put out an image of strong beautiful women that is actually relatable to young girls. Being bombarded with unrealistic images of too-tiny models is only perpetuating the myth that you need to be physically perfect to be desired, powerful, and succeed in life. For the most part I think I've grown out of it, but I'll admit it, there have been times that my confidence has been shaken by seeing a gorgeous 5'10" model posted up on some billboard and I think most girls would agree. I realize now thats just not going to happen for me considering I'm 5'2" on a good day. The media obviously knows the power they have over society, so why do they insist on putting out unrealistic images of models? Why not be more relatable like Glamour has tried, and save girls from growing up with unrealistic expectations of what they should look like.

Heteronormativity

Here's a little background information about me. I've never done a blog before and I'm not sure where to start so I guess I'll just go. I was born in the small suburb of Bexley, Ohio to recovering hippies. I had a pretty normal childhood, living a a bubble until I came to OU where I'm now just in a slightly larger bubble. I'm a junior at OU, a political science major, anthropology minor yet I don't intend to do anything specifically in either field. After I graduate I plan on joining Americorps for a year then maybe grad school for nutrition. I would love to become a nutritionist and work for a non-profit in the area of hunger relief.

Alright, onto the concept of heteronormativity.

There is one point in Yep's "Violence of Heteronormativity," that really stuck out to me, and I first I was skeptical about it, but after I gave it some thought it really made sense to me. It was the theory that within the boarders of heteronormativity there may exist violence against women. I by no means think that every heterosexual relationship is one of noticeable physical or mental violence against women, but I think it manifests itself more in an underlying inferiority that our culture has created. Women are constantly feeling pressure from men, society and other women to act and look perfect.

I was at ping last night and walked past a group of girls and heard one of them say they should put pictures of models inside their kitchen cabinets to stop them from eating. The fact that our society portrays sexy and beautiful as being stick-skinny and 5'10", places unrealistic expectations on girls, because in reality most of us are never going to look that way and that's okay.

Is that really what men want though? Or is it just what we think they want?